Choosing your celebrant can seem like a daunting task when you are organising your wedding day. This will probably be the first time you’re getting married and you want to get it right. I’ve created a simple guide to help you do just that!
Tips for Choosing Your Celebrant
The five tips focus on your wish to find a celebrant who can deliver your ideal ceremony and is someone you both get on with. You then develop a strong and positive relationship together, which will culminate in the creation of your wonderful wedding ceremony!
Your ideal celebrant is someone to whom you can relate. Someone who you have confidence in to do an awesome job. To be YOUR celebrant! This is why initially chatting via Zoom, WhatsApp or face-to-face is so important. Maybe the celebrant has been recommended by a wedding planner or venue owner. Maybe you have found them in a Wedding Directory and then you chat, and you find that you like the same type of music, experiences, or places. I met a couple very recently who will be having their ceremony in a village where I used to work. You find that ‘spark’ and soon you are laughing together like old friends.
You need to find a celebrant who is experienced in the key skills which make them an awesome celebrant. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they have been a celebrant for years and years, but they need to able to develop a good relationship with you, to be willing and able to collaborate with you. To create a beautifully written bespoke ceremony which they can then present, as an accomplished speaker, to your family and guests. They also need to be a listener as well as a storyteller: to take time to listen to your ‘Love Story’ and then be able to weave your back story, personalities and love for each other into the words of ceremony script.
This is all about being able to personalise your ceremony to make it yours so that your guests say after the ceremony that that was ‘so you!’ This comes through your celebrant getting to know you, through reading and listening to your thoughts, ideas, and your love for one another, as well as sometimes, what you don’t love! The best way to do this is face-to-face so that the celebrant can spend time with you both and sense the synergy of your relationship; pick up your pet names for each other and your personal sayings and stories that will make your ceremony so super personal and resonate to you and to your guests.
Then there is the body of the ceremony, the music, the poems, the readings, the vows or the promises , the ring exchange and the rituals or mini ceremonies: all the elements that make your ceremony, so you! Of course, you may need little support in choosing any of these elements, this might be something you’ve already decided upon years ago! However, your celebrant, as a member of their own celebrant organisation, is there to listen and give advice on all aspects of the ceremony and will have suggestions galore.
Creativity threads it way through the whole of your celebrant’s role. I can say without any exaggeration that a new mini ceremony is being invented or reinvented and shared every day of the week across the celebrant world and there will be at least one that will suit each and every couple – it’s as simple as that!
The ceremony is very much a performance and your celebrant is the choreographer as well as the producer. This is an important part of their role. I believe that a rehearsal is important and always suggest one before the Big Day. Then you can confirm where all the key players will be walking and/or standing , where the chairs or bales can or need to be, where the items for the Sand ceremony or the ribbons for the Handfasting will be placed and so on. Also, where you, the couple will stand plus your celebrant would certainly be chatting beforehand with the photographer and the videographer to ensure that they get the best pictures/film of you, the couple, as the ceremony unfolds.
Your celebrant will be an enthusiastic and super keen person who wants to do their best for you, who will be there over the months to lend an ear and to give you support when needed. She will be there to deliver your perfect bespoke ceremony and at the same time make you feel relaxed and super happy.
She’s got this!